Real Life Cannibal

So Charlie's riding a bike like an aging hipster, which is to say, pretty damn well. We went from the balance bike right to the regular one. No training wheels. Asher's working on pedaling, he's jjjuuuussssttttt tall enough for his feet to reach the pedals so I'm thinking he'll be zipping that big wheel around soon enough.

Anyone else remember the hand brakes they used to have on big wheels? Of no use for anything.



For Charlie's birthday, she wanted a Lorax theme. There were plans for crepe paper Truffula trees. Big plans. Well, we forgot about the plans just about as fast as Charlie did. Until she brought it up the day before the party. Yikes.

So I stayed up till about 2 am, tracing and cutting out mustaches.

Of course, they were used for all of a minute and a half . . . And Asher liked them before bathtime.

Party at the Mystic Aquarium, yo! What do you do on Spring Break and there's four people in the house ALL THE TIME? You get the hell out of that house. I love all the people who live here but, man, if too many people are bouncing off these walls it's only a matter of time before people actually start bouncing off walls. And only some of the time it's unintentional.

So we went to Mystic for a day of sun and nautical nonsense. The aquarium is pretty nice. They have beluga whales, which look like swimming dough, and all sorts of stuff. It's slightly smaller than the Boston aqaurium but has a lot of big stuff for the kids to look at and touch.

Jellies, man.

Totally looks like a alien abduction movie poster, huh?

Then we went to the Seaport. The Seaport was actually where we intended to go but at some point both Dianna and I just forgot and re-latched onto the Aquarium.

See, the Mystic Seaport and the Mystic Aquarium are two different places. Hence the two names.

Anchors away.

They're totally refurbishing an old whaling boat there. Stripped down and rebuilding, it's actually pretty breathtaking. You can climb up the three stories and head inside it. There's something about the timber framing that I think looks totally bad ass and not too far removed from space ships. Otherworldly.

There's a planetarium at the Seaport and, since we A) had free tickets and B) Charlie actually wanted to go to it, we went. Dianna kept Ash and wandered on and off other old schooners in the harbor. We sat in a dark room looking at a black ceiling waiting for the show to start. They watched the horse and carriage trot down the cobble stone roads. We heard a teacher-specific sales pitch for class trips/in class presentations. They got to see a massive Man Overboard demonstration in SONG. 

We did get a pretty cool show about the spring sky (stars have the coolest damn names EVER) so it all worked out.

Here they are in the play museum. Turns out pretending to clean up is fun (actually cleaning up is still horrific). 

Asher learned the nautical alphabet. Or he played with tiles. You know what? Nah, screw it, he totally learned the nautical alphabet. He's advanced.

Some Easter morning candy grab.

Charlie's reading a comic called Potter's Field. As we all know, a Potter's Field is where vagrants or unclaimed bodies are buried by the state, so you know, perfect reading material for a 5 year old.

 Actual Conversation:
"Dad, what's this?"
Well, that's a drawing of someone who's dead and been buried for a long time.
"He doesn't look happy."
No. No he does not . . . can I have my book back now?
"Yeah, hold on. I'm almost done."

Asher sleeping on the grass at the playground at Charlie's preschool.

I'm sure some of you heard, to celebrate my birthday, Ben and Jerry's, makers of fine iced creams, decided to give out free cones. The closest one around here is in Branford - about 25 minutes up 95, past New Haven. Meaning, it's far enough away I would usually grumble about driving there. But, shit, for free iced creams? I'm in!

I took the kids (kind of have too) and we sat on the beautiful Branford Town Green, played I Spy and ate free ice cream. I'm never comfortable ordering Ben & Jerry's. My two favorite flavors are Chunky Monkey and Chubby Hubby, both of which could easily be confidence crushing nicknames.

They used to have a flavor called Jerry's Jubilee. It was a combo of two others - Cherry Garcia and something made with chocolate. Jerry's Jubilee was the greatest. It was chocolate with cherry's, big-ass chunks of chocolate and fudge brownies. Seriously, does that NOT sound like the greatest thing ever. But, in an effort to slim me up, they've stopped making this delicious, delicious flavor. So stoic killing something so beautiful to save so many from flabby-ness. Tough choices. Keep making delicious but deadly ice cream or stop and never be truly happy again.

I got Chunky Monkey.

Wholes

 My mom came down right before Charlie's birthday and we went to NYC. Specifically, the American Girl Doll Store. Now, if you've never heard of American Girl or only know the basics (that it's a doll) you'll be amazed (as I was when I first saw it) to know that they have a three floor store on 5th Avenue. It is, to say the least, crazy. The line to get into the restaraunt wrapped around the escalator. The dolls sit with you at the table (we didn't go, next time, maybe). There's a beauty salon . . . for the doll. 14$ will get the dolls ears pierced.

Crazy. But Charlie thought it was (and is) just about the greatest damn thing ever.

It was not orange. Don't know why the photos are.

As soon as we got to Rockefeller Center I started humming the 30 Rock theme song. Which is funny because there's a 30 Rock where Kenneth the Page meets Jerry Seinfeld and the only thing he can do is hum the Seinfeld theme song. But I'm sure you've seen it. It's a classic. 

Here's the only picture that came out at the Times Square Toys R Us. They have a three story ferris wheel and two story T. Rex inside. As well as life size Iron Man and Capt. America's hanging out.

Ash slept on the train on the way home.

I made carrot cake cup cakes instead of birthday cake figured it would be easier for the kids to eat. Don't know why I didn't realize the kids would just eat the icing and leave the cup cake on the table. 

Some cute Asher pictures. To balance the past post. Note the colored pencil between the toes.

Depp

Shia Labeouf by Rob Cantor

The second time you listen to it, it explodes with hilarity.

Seriously, click the link.

Polyp

Random pictures! Mainly of Charlie - we've been pretty Asher-centric recently so that's ok. 

Here she is fireman-poling around a playground. 

The next ones are from a school friends birthday party, it was at the big pet store near here. You cram a dozen or so kids into a tiny sound amplifying room, give them frosting and candy then bring in animals for them to touch. Sounds like hell for the animals but the kids LOVE it. I kept looking for the right time to make a Lenny/George joke but realized the parents who would get the joke were too busy making sure it didn't come true (yes, it's an easy Steinbeck joke but still, any Steinbeck joke is classy).

The guy brought in tree frogs and had them stick to the window. Puppies that sent shrieks through the store. A bearded dragon (which Charlie immediately told everyone she had held before). There was a small boa - it's funny, Charlie wanted to touch/hold EVERYTHING. Everything. Then the snake came out, I think she saw everyone else act scared, and she wanted nothing to do with it. For three seconds then she reached out to grab it. Every one wanted to hold the Chinchilla. 

Charlie and a little pug dog.                                                      Charlie and a legless lizard. Which is basically an 

earthworm's and snake's

 thick baby.

Tell me about the rabbit's George. (see, too easy.) 

 So THIS was super cool (everything was cool but this topped it). It's a sugar glider. The dude took them out of the bag and they looked like cute hamster/chipmunk thing. Then he held them by the tail like a lawn dart. Immediately they stuck out all their paws - they're like flying squirrels with skin between all their limbs, so they looked like a square coon skin cap.

Then he had the kids hold out their arms to the side and, super nonchalantly, just gently flipped the sugar gliders up towards the kids. They floated, again semi-lawn dart-ish, to the kids and landed on their shirts. It was like bean bag tag with rodents.

Pretty awesome.

Charlie and Quinn playing Operation. Ryan trying, desperately, to get a piece out.

Another of Ryan. We went back to the pet store to check out all the animals (they have everything. Wanna blow through 45 minutes with a group of kids? Pet store.) He was checking out these rotties seconds before the picture was snapped. Too bad his birthday has already passed . . .

Random stuff you won't care about but is bugging me because that's the way I work and it's my blog so thank you very much. Today's topic: Bands Named After Member's Who Are NOT The Lead Singers.

Ok, think about it. Who's the lead singer for the Dave Matthews Band? Right, Dave Matthews - it makes sense. The Jimi Hendrix Experience (people forget the 'Experience'). The Rollins Band (Henry Rollins). Bon Jovi? Jon Bon Jovi just dropped his first name off to make it seen like a band name (same with Danzing). Right. We're ok with this? I'm not talking about someone like Madonna, who is the performer and has a nameless vague backing band that might or might not be the same each time (do the people who played on Justify My Love still play with her?). Or Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band who are clearly two separate but specific things. The E Street Band is made up of the same people.

Bands named after one band member who seemingly controls the image/style of the band but is not the lead singer. The lead singer is customarily the focal point of the band. When someone needs a quote from U2 they usually go to Bono, right? The front man is usually the face of the band. The de facto leader so to speak. But, in the case of Van Halen or Santana (and I WILL get to him) who at least they drop off their first name to make it seem like a band name instead of a single person, are not the leads but still embody the band they're in.

So the other day my alt-country Pandora station played Blue on Black by Kenny Wayne Shepherd. Good song, love it, and it burrowed into my ear and is staying there. It's a damn good song. So. Click the link. Hear Kenny Wayne Shepherd's Blue on Black.

But here's the thing. IT'S NOT KENNY WAYNE SHEPHERD SINGING. Kenny Wayne Shepherd is also the name of Kenny Wayne Shepherd's band, with a lead singer who is not, in fact, Kenny Wayne Shepherd. So you could go to a Kenny Wayne Shepherd concert and never hear the dude the band is named for.

They (Kenny Wayne Shepherd), as a band, are still great but my mind was blown when I realized it wasn't actually Kenny Wayne Shepherd singing. It just seems weird somehow. Like, back in the day you had an AWESOME guitar player who wrote all the GREAT songs but didn't sing . . . and it was called The Who, not Pete Townsend (with Roger Daltrey on vocals).

The closest I can come to something else like it is the opposite - Eric Clapton was guitarist, lead singer and songwriter for Derek and the Dominoes . . . but he had an Allman Brother on board too. And he was in Blind Faith but so was Steve Windwood so it really was more of a group dynamic . . .

And Lindsay Buckingham and Stevie Nicks wrote and sang all of Fleetwood Mac's songs, a band named for the bass player and drummer, neither of which sung . . .

And there's always been two Van Halen's in Van Halen even if neither one sung . . .

Santana, however, geez. Let me get this straight, you start a band, play guitar, hire different singers to sing OTHER PEOPLE'S SONG'S and you still get all the glory? (Black Magic Woman, Oye Como Va and Evil Ways were written by other people). Chances are, if you can name a Santana song, the only thing Carlos Santana did on it was play the guitar. Really, really amazingly well, but still.

Thus ends today's rambling half-thought-out tirade. It's late. The lights are off. And I've lost my point LONG AGO. Screw it, I'm listening to Blue on Black again. Good night.

Woodwright

With tuppence for paper and strings

You can have your own set of wings

With your feet on the ground

You're a bird in flight

With your fist holding tight

To the string of your kite

Charlie got a kite from a classmate for her birthday. She's wanted a kite for years. It's one of those things that popped up right after a time when gifts were given and never mentioned again so that when gift giving time came around again, no kite. It's just one of those weird things. Really, for all the talk about kites and the length of time it took her to get one, you'd think we were staunchly anti-kite and, that's just crazy. I doubt the Amish are even anti-kite (it's late and I'm not going to google that).

She did well.

 But there were some obstacles.

 Asher got bored.

But, in the end, it was a great time.

Watertown

Clearing out the log jam we have pictures from the New Haven St. Patrick's Day Parade. It's a pretty nice parade - not too big, not too small. Lots of marching bands, bag pipers, and fife & drum corps. And of course Star Wars Imperial Troops. We didn't get to stay this year to see them (you'll see why a few pictures down) but had a good time none the less. 

Also the guy next to us was, quite possibly, one of the most helpful men ever. He knew that the museum we camped out in from of, The Yale Art Museum, had a quick and easy to reach bathroom only 20 feet away. Was wonderful for the kids. Throw a buck in the donation jar and we had a work class (non drunk filled) marble bathroom.

Fife and drum.

Asher, wearing my hat, making a face.

The reason we had to leave early. Someone "had the flu" all over the sidewalk behind us. 

At the duck pond up the road on a nice sunny day.

Some nice Asher pictures.

 Ash curled up and watched Jeopardy with me. Pencil between his toes for effect only.

After his hair cut (note the gel). He's making grumpy faces but was actually very happy. Dianna was just looking at these as I typed. She said, "Make a grumpy face?" I did. "Wow," she says, "he really have your forehead." I can feel the love wafting off the sentiment.

Crocus in a JD shot glass. Signs you're getting old.

Ok, I had to make this picture larger than normal because of Ryan's facial expression. I can hear his little mind saying, "crap."